Reality: Iraq is What You Make of It (part 3 of 4)

“For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.’ Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you; therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” (Isaiah 30:15a, 18)

I go to church every chance I get over here. Catholic church. Protestant church. An empty church. It doesn’t matter. I read a short section from _My Utmost for His Highest_ and get on with my day.

I like the camaraderie and rapport among me, my brothers-in-arms, and my sisters-in-arms. The Navy isn’t as “serious” as the Marine Corps, for which I am grateful! We joke, we tease, we involve ourselves in each other’s cares and home lives. I have a good laugh several times a day. No matter how sleep-deprived we are, we take time to celebrate birthdays. Most of us use first names.

I run three times a week – Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 5 AM. I really don’t have time to lift weights.

I try to call my wife everyday when/where there are phones. It is good to connect with her, America, and my chattering daughter. Internet service is very spotty and slow but better than nothing.

The money for being here is good. The money is not worth it, but the money is good. We have an exchange at which to buy mundane items. There is an AT&T phone center five minutes from my room and I can call America for 19 cents a minute. My longest call – forty minutes – was still less than $8. Calling people is money well-spent. $100 a month buys a lot of sanity.
I have been gone for more than five months now. I should be home in three and a half months (early March?). Time does indeed pass….

They do have some cookouts and other diversions here – “mandatory fun,” as it’s known. At the end of one work project, I chipped in $20 to buy a goat. The goat cost $100 total. Courtesy of our interpreter and his knife skills, that goat went from drinking water to being killed, skinned, and gutted in under two minutes. By the time I got back to the tent from working that day everyone had eaten the goat! I didn’t even get a bite, but the junior troops had fun and that’s what was important.

I did an individual “shout-out” for the Wisconsin Badgers and a group shout-out for the Army-Navy football game. I am guessing the U of Wisconsin put me on a 3 AM women’s field hockey re-run since no one saw it – either that or the football season was so dismal that the Cheese State has collectively quit watching Badger games. The Army-Navy one says that the midshipmen will show “them” how it’s done on the field and the Seabees will show them how it’s done in the dirt. There are a bunch of trucks and about sixty guys in it. The usual: “Go Navy, beat Army!” I should be toward the front on the right of the TV screen. I am wearing a flight suit and a hard hat. Of course, neither one may ever get played. But it was something to do other than work! We had a Halloween party and we will have a Hawaiian Thanksgiving – whatever that is! Counterintuitively most of us are looking forward to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine’s – we’ve known for months that they’re benchmarks on the calendar that will bring us closer to coming home….

As for the inherent dangers of this place, I was in a place where there was daily gunfire for a week and a half. I don’t think any of it was actually aimed at us – at least it wasn’t very accurate. It was very close only twice. We all hit the deck and took cover. Everyone in my group remained very loose and very focused – exactly what you want in a situation like that. A couple of the guys half-my-age were busting my chops that the Iraqi children were lying flat on the ground for a few full seconds before I was. I told them they’re a lot younger than I am, they’re not wearing all the gear I am, and they’re a lot closer to the ground. Within a half hour of both incidents, we were all laughing and working hard again. One of the convoys I was on had a near miss with a small IED also. I have nothing but praise for the Iraqi army – they’ve been great. My roommate’s also worked with them extensively on a different project and he thinks a lot of them too. Both interpreters I’ve dealt with have been some of the most idealistic and hardest working people I’ve ever met.

Camp Cupcake has two Subway’s and a coffee shop (the Green Bean). Neither of the Subway’s have any vegetables – ever. Meat, cheese, black olives, salad dressing, and bread. That’ll be $9, please.

There was a dreadful Pizza Hut and a nauseating Burger King but they both closed. I predict a spike in the local varmint population. One night I stopped by the Burger King, waited a half hour for my camel burger and fries, and then I asked for some mustard. I always eat mustard with my French fries. Burger King’s slogan is, “Have it your way.” Well this Burger King crew was the same one from when Saddam Hussein and sons ran this base. I’m guessing that back then it was known as Burger Dictator. The employee had one of those yellow squeeze mustard bottles two feet from him but he wouldn’t give me any mustard. Finally he told me he was going to Pizza Hut to get my mustard and stormed off. I waited for fifteen minutes wondering how Pizza Hut would have any mustard. He finally emerged with one of those clear plastic Solo cups from Pizza Hut, squeezed some mustard into it, and sent me on my way. Why he didn’t just put it on my fries or on a napkin or something, I will never know. My food was in the backroom, not under a heat lamp, and ice cold by the time I got it. The meat tasted like it had been frozen and thawed a dozen times – so nasty I didn’t even finish it. All that and a pop for $11. But the fries and the mustard were divine!

There’s kind of a b-list of celebrities that make their way here once a month or so. The former lead singer from Creed was supposed to come here and put on a concert at the soccer stadium on base (supposedly the same soccer stadium where Uday Hussein had his Olympic soccer team executed for losing a match). He got cancelled because of a sandstorm. The American Gladiators were here too (some TV show), but I had to work. They had put on a pugil stick demonstration at one of the other bases in the region but one of the Marines beat up a gladiator so bad that they decided against doing anything more than autographs and pictures. It seems to me that somebody else came here as well but I cannot remember.

I love hiking and the outdoors. The desert and its creatures have their own austere beauty. One scene indelibly etched into my mind is the Euphrates at dusk. Strip of blue desert river, strip of green fertility, and then khaki cliffs. Orange full moon coming up over the horizon. The Muslim call to prayer from so many mosques in the distance. Feral dogs baying to the mysterious tones of Islam….

I love the Navy. Of course I have days when I hate the Navy. I have done some very cool stuff over the years, including on this deployment. Hopefully someday I will be able to give you more details…. In any event I am in good spirits and dealing well with it all, I think. In three and a half months I will be home. In five and a half years I will retire from the Reserves. Keep paying your taxes everyone because I am going to collect a reservist pension someday for going through all this!